HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
