its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize