haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
