I never want to see another naked old woman again.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
