my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
