If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
