Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
