there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
