You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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