so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
