he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
