So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
