Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Found your dick twin last night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
