i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
tell me about the fingering
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