does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
