I want to stick my p in your. b.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
