Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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