You're my little dorito
i don't like sucking hair
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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