I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh god it's open bar.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize