He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
