Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
