i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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