What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
