this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Randomize
