i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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