I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
