everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
