Tell her she can't have a vagina
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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