Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
