carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
