Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize