Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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