i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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