If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
