so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
