Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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