I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
