I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
