Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
