What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you never un-have a 4some
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
