You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
well you can't waste a boner
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
