forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
