no. you can't hotbox the world.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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