Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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