my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have aggressive nipples.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
