so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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