I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
