Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
