I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize