Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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