No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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