I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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