***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
