The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
