after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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