So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They took my balls.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
